Thursday, September 13, 2007

A "Little" Depression Setting in


I think that I am starting to become a little depressed.

I feel as if I am wasting money and I am getting nothing accomplished.  Not to mention that it is taking a personal toll on me. I am trying to stay positive, though..

My husband has mentioned and wanted to talk to me about how I feel, but I don't to talk to him or anyone else.

Even my boss said to me, are you ok? You look tired..

I am.

I am barely sleeping at night now. I cry quite a bit to myself off and on. This time it is going to take a bit longer for me to pull myself together.

I guess I am worried. Worried that I will never have children.. and scared of the fact that if I have another unsuccessful IUI I will have to start more aggressive treatments like IVF and

only God knows how I am going to afford that.

I am angry because I feel as if I waited too long..  I am angry at myself.  I think that I am going to throw myself in a hobby to lift my spirits.. and get my mind off of this.

I am really angry.   I think if this doesn't work this time, I am going to look for another doc. The doctor I have right now, I can't afford his IVF rates.

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